How many of us have heard the lines written below ?
"It is time you settle down..."
"Great, now that you have a job, it is time you settle down..."
"Now that you've been promoted, it is time for you to settle down..."
"Wow! You've bought a car... Ab settle kar le dost!"
"You've switched jobs... better profile, better pay... that's it.... Now you have to settle down... "
Familiar phrases ? I am sure you must have heard at least one of them in your lifetime, if you haven't "settled down" yet...
Here are a few more phrases...
"Dude, buy a house man! It's time for you to settle down..."
"Bro... Trust me, invest in land... best thing to do... and then settle down in life..."
"Just take a pension and/or retirement policy and then you are settled for life..."
Well, coming to the point... This ideally is an Indian mindset..
WE think... .
If we get married, we settle down...
If we buy a house, we settle down...
If we take a cash rich retirement plan, we settle down...
If we invest in land/gold we settle down...
If we secure our child's future, we settle down...
And the best of the lot....
If we get our child married.... We as parents are done! We have completely settled down...
The question is...
When does this "settling down" end ? Or should I rephrase.... When does it actually begin ?
If you notice the pointers that I just wrote a couple of lines above...
They are sequential... They will, or rather should happen in everybody's life...
If they don't... oops! You will be perceived as someone not very successful in life...
It really doesn't matter if we enjoy living for today and the moment... We will still... be judged...
Even if we have been around the world, have enjoyed adventure sports... got drunk on the beach and ate the greatest of seafood... We will still fall under the category of an insensible person because We are spending our hard earned money... And here's the ironical part.... We are spending it on US.... and still being judged!
Ideally we should only be spending to survive and not live our life.... Ideally we are expected to save our earnings as assets in our bank and investments... for .... for.... (try answering this yourself before reading further )
Let me try.... For later times.... for when you will be old and will not have an apetite to enjoy seafood... For later times... when walking without a break for 10 minutes will be adventure sports...
So when does the settling down happen?
When you are married... you worry about buying a house...
When you buy the house... you try securing your child's future...
When that is done... you worry about retirement...
Then child's marraige... The list goes on....
I am not saying, one should not be doing these things...
What I am trying to home in is...
Let us not measure our lives based on these parameters....
Let us not judge someone based on the items he/she has ticked as completed tasks in the settling down checklist...
Let's LIVE... each day and every day...
Let's measure how many moments we've created with our loved ones... Let's measure on the number of times we made people smile... Let's measure life in terms of happiness and not success... Because trust me... It's fun to live! That's how I have grown up! " LIVING " ....Thanks Mom&Dad!
So... I guess... Don't settle down... Only live it up!
Think about it!
Dipankar
5 comments:
Mahatama Gandhi famously quoted ..Theres enough in this world for your need but not for your Greed ..and with this we the humans really can never settle down in our lives...our hunger to satiate our requirement grows with every greed ....you again spoke my mind Dip!
The best part here is living in this misconception that marriage settles you down:P:P
Thoughts are always great, which let our mind go to another world...
Settling down is an important chapter in my life also as it comes to me every day but after reading your post I am now more confident to stick to decision. :)
I guess.. to settle down is the most unsettling goal in life... my parents think I'm settled down.. bt I think I have never been more unsettled before than now. But this has its own charm.. Earlier, I did not value the importance of stealing moments of happiness when they were in plenty. Now, with settlement process demanding so much of my brain and heart, I have started giving more value to 'moments', vacations, smiles and being with loved ones. Settling down may not be a very promising thing to look forward to but it is very much required to keep you on your toes for a lot of things.
just to add to what you are feeling..."times are changing...people are strange" and what you just wrote is a reflection of the those wise words that Mr Dylan once said...
Life is all about living it,and the choice is yours! one can wait for the life's moments to settle down, or one can just enjoy the ups and downs!
Good that you are back to writing after a long time!!! We sort of missed you!!! Your views are as usual - simple yet thought provoking!!! My take on the phrases, "Settle Down", "Do the Right thing", "Be good", etc., is that whenever somebody tells me to do any of the above or uses other similar phrases with me, I know instantly that they want me to live my life exactly the way they themselves have lived or want to live or would end-up living. Not that anybody has evil intensions, it is just human nature.. So I agree with you!! - "Never settle down... Only live it up!"
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